Tough

It wasn't until my dad was in his early 60's, when he was commuting five hours each way to work three 20-hour days in a row, that it dawned on me what exactly it was I admired so much about him.  Whatever anyone said about Dave Coughlin, his physical toughness was never in doubt.  I admired this toughness so much, partially because it was something to which I believed I could never aspire.

Then last summer, when I lost my job, I had to ask my body to do things it hadn't done in a long time; digging holes, lifting root balls, pushing a wheelbarrow filled with stone.  After one 12-hour day working on a paver patio, I realized that maybe just a little of my dad's toughness had rubbed off on me.

Saturday, I cut the grass at my dad's house.  I wondered if the noise from the mower would disturb my dad as I drove it past the bedroom where he lay, his forearms--once thick ropes of coiled steel forged by years of turning wrenches--suddenly yellow and weak, unable to even push himself into a comfortable position on the bed.

I turned the corner and went on with the mowing, asking myself:

 "Am I tough enough for this?"

Author's Note: Even in his weakened state, my dad died the way he lived: independent; unwilling to conform to anyone else's pre-conceived notions; and, to the moment he breathed his last breath, tough.

Dave Coughlin; March 26, 1946-April 11, 2010

I love you Dad; goodbye.

Comments

[Kurt Jarrett]

Very touching, Matt. Our thoughts are with you!

The Jarrett's

[Sissy Estep]

Matt,

our prayers are with you.

The Esteps

[Margaret]

You are.

Very touching words, Matt. Your dad would be proud.

[arthur]

Very touching words, Matt.

[John Smiraglia]

Hey Matt, so sorry to hear about your Dad. I always liked him. It's been a long time since I have seen him, maybe as far back as when you and Maura were little kids. I will definitely remember him for his toughness, but as tough as he was, he was also very funny and super smart. I miss him already.

John

[U. Tom]

Matt, I can't express how sorry i am about your Dad. I know how proud of you and your sister he must have been, and how comforted he was to have you with him at the end.
Lately you have written some very nice pieces about me; specifically about working with me. Most of what I learned about working hard came from Dave. He and Frank are my greatest role models. What I learned about being independant,hard working, and, yes, tough-- I learned from them. I loved your Dad and I will miss him greatly. I love you too kid. U. Tom

[Laurie]

Matt -
My heart goes out to you and your family during this time of grief. I pray that you'll be comforted by all the wonderful memories you have of your Dad. You certainly have a gift for expressing those memories on paper. If there is anything our family can do for you, please don't hesitate to call on us.

[Rex Howell]

I am truly sorry for your loss.

[Allen W.]

Matt - You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. Thank you for sharing on your blog. It was a blessing for me to read.

[T.W. Warr]

It is good to know that the ones we love will always be cherished in our hearts.

[Rudy]

Matt,
We are truly sorry for your family's loss. I have learned that as cruel as life can be sometimes, we need to look positively at it. I lost my stepmother 6 yrs ago, I was pestered by a friend to attend a BBQ as he said, that getting outside of the house would be good. It was I made a young lady (Amy) there who is now my wife. Fast forward 4 yrs later, Amy lost her father unexpectedly soon after our son was born. The funny thing about our son is that he looks like, walks like her Dad!

So, look closely and I will bet you will find that your Dad is all around you!

Rudy

[Marian]

You have my sympathy Matt...